Best Friends.....

Yesterday, I received an unexpected email from
a long loss Girlfriend. She was no ordinary
friend, she was my Best Friend.... until I
let jealousy and immaturity get between us.

It really is sad today looking back 22 years
and wondering why??? Why did I allow myself
to walk away from a friend that was so much
more than a friend... she was everything.
We were so different her and I... she was
graceful, sweet, beautiful and has one of
the biggest purest hearts I knew. Me I was loud,
funny party girl, just looking to be the
life of the party. Together, we just were
two girlfriends teaching each other.....

And then it happened. I really can't even
remember what it was... I just know I put
the wedge that tore us apart. From time to
time we would cross paths and we would
politely say "Hi". Facebook brought us into
each others lives but then it was always
just the polite " How are you?" " You have
a beautiful family"..... but the hurt was
still there.

My dear sweet friend lost her husband a few
years back and then her mom not long after.
I went to pay my respects and my heart bled
seeing her pain and so wanting her to know
that I was not just there for them, I was
there because I wanted to hold her. Wanted
her to know that I still loved her and I
wanted to help her heal. But I let my pride
stop me from reaching out to her.... Now my
sweet friend has lost her brother and in her
pain, she has reached out to me....

I opened her email thinking it would be just
another. " Hi, hope you are doing okay"...
And I got " I miss you my dearest friend.
I hope you can forgive me"... See what I
mean by sweet and pure heart. I had made a mess
of things.. I could not put my pride aside
to beg forgiveness cause I was afraid of
rejection and she could.

To tell you the truth I wonder if I deserve
her forgiveness, if I deserve her friendship.
Then I thought, this is God at work......
I have spoken to him lately.. more than ever.
I have asked him to help me to heal past mistakes.
Funny because I was not specific. I just asked
him to help me heal and whatever path I needed
to be on, I believe he will lead me down it.
This is the path of healing and I can't wait
to see what path he puts me on next.

So, today I smile because Today, I have my
Best Friend back... and I know that this time
I will not fail her...